year 23 starts today.

Did you know the Lead is a writer? He wrote and framed this poem for our fifth anniversary. We were two kids in and trying to live dreams that seemed to have been squashed overnight by God.  We were just surviving daily on what we had been given when we had grown up in our own perspective houses.  Him, yelling. Me, avoidance. It was a perfect pair. Five years in I can remember thinking, man we have a long way to go till death do us part. We weren’t even 30 yet. Babies trying so hard to be a family on every account. Both of us stubborn as hell.

We struggled so much.

Yet, here we are. Year 22. Twenty Two years you have called me your bride. Twenty Two years and God has hacked off our rough edges and is honing us into more of what He desires us to be as people. So that He is more glorified in our relationship. Somewhere around year 17 he took our hearts and smashed them together again and said in His own loving and grace filled way. “Tony, you be you. Kelly, you be you. Your love will grow from this one thing. Don’t worry about the other person just stay close to Me and I’ll show you how your words and actions can radiate me back to them so they can be reminded to stay close to me.”  It was a game changer.

When we come to the end of our lives and we have to part, I’ll shout it from the roof tops that the only way we stayed married all these years is God. He is the reason I love the Lead so much. He is the reason I can put my own agenda aside and faithfully walk next to a man who loves Jesus just as much if not more. Sure there are things I still get annoyed with but honestly they are trivial compared to the state of his soul. If I can influence that on anyway I need to stick close to God so that I can do it honestly and with integrity.

Year five has come and gone. Year 23 starts today and I am so joy filled that we both didn’t stop loving each other at the same time over the years. Because your love Mr Lead carried me through some dark days and off the beaten path adventures. Tears fill my eyes over the Christ like love you have shown me.  I love you and will forever My Lead.


to each his own

I am not a big believer in activism. I do have things I believe and yes, have been called a bit opinionated in the past, but to actively search out a place in my heart to place something to dislike, be perturbed by, hate, fed up with so much that I feel like I need to act is kinda unfathomable to me. Mostly because I’m a middle child, but also because I think the only thing that I would love to have in my heart is more of Jesus and his opinion and I’m not sure Jesus would have slathered his whole message on social media or marched with anyone to make change.

He used love. The kind of love that simply said, “Follow Me.” He pointed out sin, tipped over a table when he was angry one time, and died in the name of change. Jesus changed the world with a heart full of love and that is my favorite form of activism.

I know I’m not clearly looking at this from all angles, my time is short.

There’s a time and place for amazing protests and big groups of folks chanting things in rhymes. Many times history has been changed by people simply taking up the notion that together they can change something. I dig that side of activism. The can do attitude. The group effort. The force for good. The love that the fellowship brings to the cause. The togetherness. I guess I just get sad when folks use their talent and time and behavior in a way that is destructive in the name of “fighting for change.” Actually it makes me very sad.

To each his own I suppose is what my mom would have said.